secret santa wishes*

ho ho ho!!! that time of year already? 

school closes tomorrow... been busy with sport.... 

and getting my own food because i'm hungry! everyone is so busy... don't you understand the concept of wanting food! :-) 

privilege to have my aunt and goddaughter here with us for Christmas... being silly very late at night

trying to get some extra rest... holidays are close... 

trying to find moments of quietness to gather my thoughts 

and things in my heart

having my aunt here is great... it caught me off guard when i wished it was my mom... 

missing her tremendously. 

reading lots of stories in the twinkle lights with my 2 

'wishes' under the tree

hope you are sending your wishes out into the universe too... 

they really do come true 

my wild one*

i usually joke when i meet knew people introducing my kids...

 'just so you know, i raise them wild and free'. 

i thought kellen was wild, and then she grew up and well, wild has a new meaning! (it must be the hair..hehe...) 

last week monday, she was skipping along (she 'skips' people!), trip over her own feet and hit her lip against the bin...1, 2, 3 blood everywhere and i knew she had to get stitches.  i took her to the doctor, who transferred us to the hospital, so that she can get sedated to stitch her up... and she.was.not.happy. 

(her mama had a little meltdown too, because it's a different country, doctors i don't know, and she has to go to theater AND daddy's away... i just needed that moment... (thanks Big Dad!) ) 

i tried everything to calm her down... but girl friend did not want to calm down...
she did not like the cot...

she did not like the nurses....

she just wanted her mama and would use every method she knows to get to me..hehe...

(little whisper... i still want to be a nurse...)

on our way up to the theater... had some meds and are calming down....such a big girl...

got home at 8pm that night and sister is still not happy. she got stitched on the inside as well. the doctors were great and kind and comforting to this mama heart who just wanted to cry (can you believe it!).
she is back to her skipping... we are trying to do everything a little bit slower...

but i still LOVE the phrase 'wild and free' xx

living in gratitude*

From the fullness of His grace we have all 

received one blessing after another.

~ John 1:16 ~

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when 

our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder

1st halloween ever*

Halloween is BIG here where we live... we decided to take part for the fun of dressing up and for the trick-or-treating.  Around the corner from where we live there was an arm and a leg sticking out from the postbox and kellen asked me every day for a week...mommy, please don't get an arm and a leg...it's scary'.  

We've made it a positive and sweet halloween... i introduce to you... 

Batman & Tinkerbell 

 can we please get going? Where are all the treats? 

 come bella, this way...

most of the people in our compound gathering at the swimming pool

before we go out trick-and-treating

there were quite a big number of children... 

 batman protected tinkerbell through the chaos

 there were some brilliant costumes, even the adults dressed up... 

enough now! where is all this treats you are speaking off? 

nobody is put off by the rain...

 made for brilliant puddle jumping... 

think bella enjoyed that the most... 

"ok, i'm tired. go home. sweets are done. 

no more treats. time for bed".

a very tired little tinker bell... and batman? 

he was off sharing all his treats with the kids

knocking on our door xx

*it was his idea to share his treats with the kids when ours was finish... 
i'm such a proud mama :-) 

@#$% people say to transracial families

Just came across this video here where 3 moms who adopted made a video with everything they have heard from people... it is hilarious and  i would think that only if you have adopted transracial will you truly understand where the humor comes from... if you have not adopted and you have asked some of these questions...take note... don't ask again... not so funny.

this amazing life!

in the blogging world it becomes a topic once in a year as to why one blog? for me it is to 'connect', to not feel lonely in a different country and to keep a record of our life for my children one day. yes, also for family and friends to see what we've been up to, but mostly i love to write, and this blog is a space where i can sit down and share... i've been absent although not absent minded... i've been enjoying this amazing life of ours! 

our godchild arrived 3 weeks ago, staying for 3 months. my heart is sooooo full, my time is limited and all we do is giggle and laugh and talk and exercise (hehe...) and giggle some more. 

i thought it only rained when you barbecue in the UK? hehe... forgot about the thunderstorms and monsoon season here in KL.  It is beautiful... and hot.. and the rain is warm and refreshing.  we were invited for a barbecue today... and then it rained.  we will not be stopped...hehe... we were soaking wet but had such fun in the rain. the kids were running around and swimming and playing... for about an hour... before we went up to the apartment.  

when one stays in your neighborhood you tend to forget how much other beautiful places there are around you. my friend stays on the 39th floor of their building and the swimming pool is on the 1st level... which looks out over the whole of mont kiara... it's beautiful..

 and this girl? she is funny and loving and kind and quiet... she is strong and beautiful. she knows what she wants in life. she is brave and adventurous and open for change. she is soft hearted and love(d).
she fills my heart like one of my own children and she sees me. she knows me. she knows my heart. she makes me want to be the best human being i can possible be. this beautiful girl has my heart xx

tips on living the life you imagined*

Life is good. One can really live the life one imagined... it usually is in the day to day living that one realize 'aha! i have imagined a life so full and rich of love and this is it'.

many a night i've imagined how we walk in the rain.... go for walks in the rain... enjoy the rain on your skin.... feel the soft drops of love pitter patter on your skin...

many a night i 've imagined how my children develop en grow...we've been stretching and reaching to be our best selfs... we've been growing and making mistakes and laughing about them... but we always stand up and try again...

many a night i've imagined how we will talk about the beginning and the end of things/life....death is inevitable. it's a subject we talk about in our house. 'fish-fish' decided to move on... we had a funeral, there were some tears and lots of love...

many a night i've imagined how we would read together in bed.  try something new. late mornings in bed with a good good book... getting excited about new possibilities...

many a night i've imagined how our children get into bed with us for cuddles... morning cuddles... or is it more like midnight cuddles leading into morning cuddles...  oh how many a night did i dream about this.... 

many a night i've imagined how i will spend time with my children individually.... it's so important to spend time with each of our children separately.  with kellen it is easy.. he wants to go to a coffee shop, have a doughnut and a juice and chat...

many a night i've imagined how i'm going to feed my children healthy and nutritious meals....this girl loves meat, she sure knows how to eat a piece of chicken.

many a night i've imagined how i'm going to teach my children to take good care of their bodies... brushing teeth is a fun and playful thing in our house... we walk around and dance and hum while we take care of our teeth.

many a night i've imagined how i'm going to teach my little ones to make friends... to be gentle and kind...

many a night i've imagined how my babies are going to sit on my lap and we are going to swing into the sunset...

many a night i've imagined how i take my children to the park...how they cycle and climb and slide... magic...

may a night i've imagined how i'm going to teach them about safety... no problem. you just don't allow anything else than being safe...hehe...

many a night i've imagined how we are traveling the world... how i teach my children that they have the world at their feet... opportunities to expand their worlds... to spread their wings and to fly...

many a night i've imagined how sometimes we will do things we are not proud off or happy about... we try something new that didn't quite work out the way we imagined... we cry, we forgive (ourselves) and we move on... that is what life is about... your try out everything and you do those that make your heart sing!

many a night i've imagined our children being goofy, funny and wild, i've imagined them being kind and soft and caring...

many a night i've imagined how i will stand over their bed/cot and watch them sleep.... these moments, watching them is sleep, are some of the most precious and dear to my heart...

many a night i've imagined how i'm going to teach my children to stand in their light and be proud of themselves.

many a night i've imagined how we go on picnics with treasured friends in beautiful gardens with fountains and geese and ice-cream...

many a night i've imagined my children being creative and free... this designer at the south sea restaurant is just that.  this is in the gents bathroom, kellen is taking a wee and that is their view...brilliant!

many a night i've imagined this life i'm living, not feeling as if it is ever going to happen. the waiting was so hard, the not understanding so not understandable...

but here we are. 10 years later and we are living the life we always imagined.

YOUR dreams are coming true as we speak xx