Sunday, August 14, 2011

2 years*

today, 2 years ago we were all gathered around your bed in the hospital.  Crying the one minute, laughing the next when we thought of something you would have said.  2 years ago today, we could really not believe that you are not going to pull through this time.  2 years ago today, was the last time i could rub your feet, they were so cold, and i put some socks on because  that is what you would have wanted.  2 years ago today, we were standing in disbelief of where we were - in a hospital, saying goodbye to OUR mom.  2 years ago today, you were just waiting for dad to come. after he arrived, you left within minutes and i was thinking of one of your favorite gospel songs 'i see a new heaven come' (ek sien 'n nuwe hemel kom). that is how you left... on the wings of love.

"Nothing about the past losses I have experienced prepared me for the loss of my mother. Even knowing that she would die did not prepare me in the least.
A mother, after all,
is your entry into the world.
She is the shell in which you divide and become a life.
Waking up in a world without her
is like waking up in a world without sky: unimaginable."Meghan O'Rourke

2 years.

a million unsaid emotions, feelings and thoughts. the only one that really matter is the
'i love you mom'. xx