Monday, April 23, 2012

the move* (part 1)

How do geese know when to fly to the sun?
Who tells them the seasons?
How do we, humans know when it is time to move on?
As with the migrant birds, so surely with us,
there is a voice within if only we would listen to it,
that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.” - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 when things are crazy and uncertain, we turn to simplicity and beauty. 
in the midts of the move, kellen picked these little flowers for me to tell me he loves me

It happened. We moved countries. We packed all our belongings, (and our 2 children..heehee), got on an airplane, flied for 13 hours and moved into Mont Kiara, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Unreal. 

We allowed strange men to come into our house, like ants invading our kingdom, with boxes and tape. We allowed them into our personal space and let them pack all our things.  The strange thing about change is how one just adapt... without even trying... you just do it...  i cried most of the first day.

We took many photos to remember everything, every little detail about our house.  We took photos of us in every room, to remember every moment we laughed and cried in our house.  We love our house.
But we are happy.  Like the geese, the seasons have changed, and we are flying out...

We surrender into the known.... love, family, us. We surrender into knowing.  We surrender into God, knowing that He will guide us and show us the way.

Just before the move, i posted a photo saying "happiness is an inside job' and asked: 'i wonder where patience lived?"  Jenica reminded me IT LIVES IN THE NOW. In every moment there is beauty. We just have to open our hearts to it... 

We trust. We trust that life is amazing, that elliot, the moving company, is amazing too.  We trust blindfolded with a knowing that He will take care of us.

There is nothing like 'a mom's cooked meal'.  My aunt and godchild brought us dinner the last evening in our house... with candles... heehee... for atmosphere.... you are amazing! we love you! xx

It can be either scary or life altering seeing how little one really needs / or how much things you pack when you have a baby! :-) Doing this, you realise you don't really need much, except each other.

When you feel overwhelmed with the big move, you go outside to ground yourself.  And you remember... again... of when you moved into the house... this tree on the left... how i love this tree... my mom still brought this tree in her mercedes as a gift... and the tree on the right.. my dad gifted us with that one when we moved into our house 12 years ago.  My family are tree lovers... my dad taught us how to love trees...

So the house emptied and the boxes were moved into the container. This photo on the right is where we went to each room to talk about all the happy memories we had in the room, what we loved of each room and what we are going to miss about it. Kellen was play angry because he loved his room.  It was his safe haven.

But when he got outside, he wanted to get in the container, he was so excited. And the sadness about his bed and books were forgotten, knowing it is all wrapped, packed and ready to be shipped.

i love how kellen finds beauty everywhere... this was a heart shaped shadow
 from the light through the trees. 

Moving countries (house/ changing jobs) is a funny thing. Sometimes the sadness of what was, overwhelms you and you literally just don't know how to move on.  You stay in what was, and forget about all the knew memories and things just around the corner.  For us, our family, we live through what Walt disney says:  'We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

Friday, April 13, 2012

a thank you note*

dear sweet house,

thank you for being the first big thing him and i could do together. the day we bought you, we got pizza and ate it on the floor in the dining room. only the two of us. it was magical.
thank you for being our 'space'.
thank you for allowing us to live with only a few things when we got married.
thank you for being our safe harbor.
thank you for being a safe place for us to fall when we were in need.
thank you for opening your doors to friends and family.
thank you for being a home to Gordon, Mala and Sebastian (our dogs).
thank you for comforting us when the sadness overwhelmed us during the 10 years of our infertility.
thank you for welcoming us back when we got our little (big) boy.
thank you for laughing and giggling and running and playing and being so very very happy (with us).
thank you for welcoming us back with our little girl.  thank you for the green walls.
thank you for helping us raise a little boy and girl (who is growing up way too fast!)
thank you for being our shelter.
thank you for being our good memories.
thank you for being our home.

we will always have fond memories, good memories.

heart to heart,
thank you  xx

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

we're still here*

We are still here! We found the easter eggs, but now the little bunnies are missing! :-)

(just teasing...heehee)  Happy Easter!

*  flying to malaysia on tuesday, 17/04 at 11h30
*  no suitcases packed (yet)
*  no packing either (and we are moving with all our belongings)
*  no stress..really.
*  kids are happiness overload
*  biggest lesson learned in last week: patience live in the now... (thank you Jenica xx)
*  movers arrive thursday morning between 09h30 and 10am...really. they told us.
*  on saturday our house will be empty, except for us, each with our own suitcase, air ticket & passport (insert huge smile here)
*  still reliving this past weekend with family
*  playing songs in my head
*  laughing ( a lot!)


just happy xx

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

truth is patience*

this is the most beautiful little soul of a friend of mine... a friend who waited with me, (only 10 years longer than us) to have her own little miracle. 'magically' 2 months after we got bella, she got her little angel. she (the baby) is funny, calm, sweet, sleep through the night... she seems like an old soul... looking at you as if she knows things you don't, just like my two.  i guess it is about their history. how their stories were intertwined with ours... how a Higher hand decided this is how it is going to be... we are so lucky... so blessed...

today two companies came to give us quotes for our move.  they start packing tuesday, 10/04/12. we fly to malaysia on tuesday, 17/04. how do i feel? i think it struck me yesterday that we are moving countries. trying to stay 'calm' and together these last few months. i took a photo that says 'happiness is an inside job'... and asked 'where does patience live'.  an amazing friend & mama 4 wrote back... 'in the NOW'.  powerful stuff.

it's like watching this little baby. looking at you.... looking away... and you can see she is thinking something... wow!

in the now. here. now. 12h50am. tired. ready to go. but first we are going to do some easter egg hunting this weekend. we'll have to be very sly as kellen said: 'i want to catch that bunny, and then i'm going to pull of his head, because i know it is a real human underneath'.

it's amazing how things work out the way it is suppose to. my friend and i sitting on the kitchen floor with a cup of tea, feeding our babies... i still get excited just thinking about that sentence... a baby cries... we look at each other and say: 'it's your baby, that is not my baby's cry'... magical... being in the moment, in the now, Jenica! that's patience! (thank you!) xx