Saturday, July 7, 2012

heart fluttering - "tee-tjies"

my sweet boy, 

you are growing up way too fast.  you are playing more and more on your own, helping yourself with porridge in the mornings, taking your own self-portraits, figuring out things by yourself. i'm so proud of you for how independent you are, and yet, at the same time, my heart skip beats as to how quickly it happens. 

i love every little and big thing of you... 
the way your face lit up when you see your sister
the way you enjoy figuring things out
the way you try to get yourself out of trouble
the way you start laughing when you try to get something you are not allowed to
the way you ask for tea... 

aunty sue gave your cousin a cup of tea at night, and now, all of sudden, you want 'tee-tjies' too. my heart flutters when you look at me with those beautiful eyes and ask:  'mama, can i please have some tee-tjies'. 
i want to hug and kiss and knibble you all at once... and then i have to remember that you are growing up and you want to be independent. when i do hug you, you smile and  wiggle loose and ask me 'i asked you, mama, may i please have some  'tee-tjies'.  

 self-portrait taken by kellen 

things i've noticed of you these past few months... 
* you love being silly
* you love making plans
* you love being between your cousins 
* you struggle to share all the time... 
* you 'fight' for what is yours ( my eyes that is a good quality)
* you want to be outside more and more... you love being outside
* you love being in the garden...watering the grass.... pruning... 
* you protect your little sister
* you love asking questions...about everything... 
* you love playing with your daddy
* and cars

you are...
soft and caring
wild and loud
responsible (sometimes not)
an explorer
love talking
and arguing...  (that's a story all on its own).
you care about others and on a few occasions you have said: 'one day, i want to be a daddy and all the kids who don't have mommies and daddies (and food) can come live with me. i will feed them and be their daddy'.

your expression in the photo above is the one you give me when you ask for tea... it is also the expression you have when you are caring and concerned about others, your soft heart and your genuine-ness shining through your smile...

i love you. when my heart flutters when you speak with me i remember YOU made me a mama...

i love you my not-so-baby-boy-anymore xx

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