Monday, January 7, 2013

my 'anerma'

in the swimming pool, 1am on new years eve, pangkor

a few years ago i took my husbands phone to read his emails to find out what he has been working on at work, as to when he tells me about it, the words won't seem so outer space.  then, i found some text messages from a girl which seemed to me, quite intimate. i felt uncomfortable and thought, 'this is not right. who is this girl'? at that stage he told me about a rep whom he was talking to quite often and i thought that was she.  when i asked him about these text messages, he burst out laughing and told me 'Anerma' was aunty Elnette. Anerma means 'other mom' in text messaging/spelling and it was hilarious.  

my mom's cousin, aunty Elnette and her daughter, our goddaughter, Beth has been visiting us for the last month (and beth for the last 3 months) in Malaysia.  it is as if they are part of our everyday life and is how it is suppose to be.  we joke and say that the family will 'connect' on a deeper level for years to come... aunty Elnette is 20 years older than i am, i am 14 years older than beth and she is 18 years older than kellen.  the connection is there and nothing in the world will ever change the bond all of us have.  i treasure this. family. connection. people who truly see me/us for who we are. who don't expect us to be anybody but ourselves.  they just get us. no expectations, no explaining, just love. 

my aunt has been like a mother to me since my mom died 3 years ago.  on her lap i have cried hours and hours, wailed really, because i miss my mom so much.  my aunt has been there. in the 8 years on our (in) fertility journey, i cried on her lap, sat in front of her and talked and lashed out and asked questions and cried... she saw me, my sadness and she did not say a word. she just patted my back and told me how much she loved me. 

she is the most amazing person. 

A L I V E  and VIBRANT! 

A D V E N T U R O U S! 

W I L D and C A L M!

H O N E S T and  F U N N Y.

always game for fun and sports. 

on new years eve, (photo above) we were sitting outside our room chatting, and we looked at each other.  marcel said 'let's jump in the pool' and if she was faster, she would have been the first one in the pool.  

she is soft and kind. warm and loving. understanding and straight.  honest.  she knows when to give advice and when to just listen. she sees you. she sees me and kellen en bella and marcel. she connects with each of us where we are and never ever expect anything back. she cries easily and have a heart so pure, it will soften anybody who gets in contact with her. 

she is a special needs teacher for the year 4 students.  i always smile and know how much she means to the children who she has connected with. all her year 4 children over the years, who are now in the high school, still comes to her with their problems. they text her when they need advice or someone to talk to... and just that.. the being there... is all of her.  

hehe.. i remember when kellen just came to live with us, i made him a baked potato for lunch (with some other bits) and he refused to eat the potato. i phoned her in tears, crying because he does not want to eat the potato and she said: 'so what. then he doesn't eat the potato'. (huge life lesson..hehe). 

this afternoon when i went to pick bella up for her play group, i bent down for her to run into my arms... very excitedly.  bella ran straight past me, into anerma's arms.  i looked, smiled and thanked God for her.  (i was jealous...very much!) 

her outlook on life is simple & easy. do it, don't do it, but for goodness sake! just enjoy your life

my (our) life has been blessed with her in.  my heart has healed because of her love and acceptance.   my children has an (adopted) grandma because of her open heart.  for me, she is like my other mom. 

i love you anerma. to the moon and back xx

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