Saturday, January 12, 2013

memories & your handwriting*

you never really understand the depths of love for your child, whether through birth or adoption, until you hold that little one in your arms.  i remember absolute awe and gratitude, a feeling of a circle coming full... of the most amazing experience of my life... to hold that little one, look into their eyes and all that you feel is pure love...

then we all grow up and have this idea of the relationship we have with our parents.  i was sorting a box and came upon albums of photos when i was a baby...  photos of my mom and dad and me.. just the 3 of us...  when i was 6 days old... 3 months... 10 months... a year.

my mom passed away 3 years ago... i miss her every day.  i miss everything about her.
these albums were put together by her,
with her thoughts,
written in her handwriting,
the pen held by her hand.

the photos taken by my dad,
the thoughts behind the capturing of each of these,
the camera held in his hands.

i imagine their hearts bursting with happiness and love,
their relationship as husband and wife strengthening,
their love deepened.

 9 january 1975, my mom in the beginning stages of birthing me

my mom & i

i see the awe and gratitude, a softness in her gaze... 

my dad and i, camping

i'm going to make photo books for every year of our children's lives. i've decided today that i will keep the space where the comments must come, blank, so that i can write a caption, with a pen held in my hand, in my handwriting, for my children. my thoughts... my handwriting... which i know they will treasure one day when they have their own children. 

i've been writing letters to my children since they were born. i have a letter for that i've written to 'our baby' in october 2010... bellas was conceived in september... i wrote i could feel that she (had a feeling it was a little girl) was on her way to us... 

you should too. write letters to your children. not type. write. with a pen on paper and keep it for them.  

you should tell them in letters or short notes how much you love them.  one day when you have left, those are the things they will treasure the most. 

go write. 

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